things have turned so sour that i cringe whenever i try to recall every incident on the way...but i'm finally at the stage where i've been pinning for the whole time -- their last day here in the states. i hate to say it like this because why would i so desperately want my in laws to leave? which daughter in law doesnt wish for a good relationship with her in laws? i honestly wish with all my heart that things were better, but we're now at a stage where nothing can be done to salvage it further, and it's in everyone's best interests that we dont live under the same roof anymore.
just like how both parties are equally responsible in a conflict, i believe that there are also 2 sides of the story to a conflict. my story goes like this: i really dislike how they conveniently pushed ALL responsibility and blame onto me as if they and their son are completely innocent and blameless. the mil said so many hurtful things when she suddenly exploded one evening and the fil appeared calm and neutral but was so full of sarcasm and bitterness. it's true i've been quite forthcoming about expressing my opinions and preferences, but that's because Luke is MY son, and 8900A raymond smart circle is MY home. i've done my part respecting them by putting across my opinions and preferences with tact, and constantly caring about their wellbeing while staying with us. but it will be unreasonable to ask me to completely give up all my preferences and needs and stop expressing it to them, especially when their habits and practices are entirely opposite of mine and impossible to put up with. there needs to be mutual respect and they cant keep demanding that i do it while they completely ignore my need for space and respect too. besides, i'm a first time mom going through a major drastic change to my life -- all my routines, hobbies, and previous life habits are permanently gone and i can never get back my identity anmore. that's a lot of stress for anyone going through it, and in addition, i also have to deal with difficult in laws..it's double the difficulty for a first time mum like me. yet i'm expected to keep quiet even if i'm unhappy, or let them mess up my house and not be able to clean up because it hurts their feelings..how is that reasonable? i'm not even bringing up the fact that i'm trying my hardest to manage my ppd..what understanding and nice in laws i have, right..
i get so worked up whenever i think about all their unreasonable demands because they've been mega unfair toward me. i understand it's mainly because i'm just the daughter in law and not their own child..thats why they dont have to show much concern nor understanding. even when they do show concern occasionally, i know it's because they dont want me to cause additional worry and stress for their son. it's never really about me. i know that because the dad has always been sarcastic and indirect the way he talks..he would keep telling me to not be jx's burden and help to lighten his load, as if i havent been doing that at all. i should have known the fil is not what he seems -- no one can be truly calm and neutral and without temper/anger. he just acts like this on the surface, but beneath that surface, i have experienced so much sarcasm, grudges, and bitterness from him. but i guess he feels justified doing that cuz he thinks his son is the only one getting mistreated here.
in any case, i cant wait for them to leave so i can finally have a heavy load lifted off my chest..i will never ever want to stay under the same roof with them again.
i will take the baby over difficult in laws any day, any time.
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