thank you for spending the past 2 and a half days with me at my place! what are the chances that my sis is away on a holiday with her (poor) bf and you have a valid reason to stay over haha..
i really appreciate you spending time with my family members because it makes me feel that you are closer to me (even tho we already are!!). it also gives them a chance to know your awesomely caring, patient and loving personality. it's not enough that i'm the only person convinced of that...i want my family (or important people in my life, for that matter) to be convinced of your good qualities too. Thank you for the Sushi Tei treat!!!! :-))))) we love you!
White Christmas outside Tangs, Orchard
you have no idea how much i love this picture! i look really fair here hahaha ^^V
posing in front of a gigantic Xmas tree outside ION, Orchard
you look even more "ah pek" with the umbrellas HAHAHA
I've realised that i become more melancholic (or pessimistic) whenever i come across sad stories or allow myself to conjure up some imaginative stories of you and girl X. for example, i get jittery and paranoid when i heard that a few guy friends of mine have secret flings despite being attached. i may be assuming too much, but these are guys who would also treat their gfs like queens and whose gfs would NEVER suspect their behavior outside of the relationship. i find it very scary that these guy friends of mine can convince their gfs of fidelity while being completely opposite when the gf is not around. i find it even scarier if i were to put myself in the shoes of those gfs....having said that, i'm also aware that having faith in your partner is such an important part of the relationship that i should probably call it "an obligation". what your partner does with this faith, is of course, his/her own prerogative. but the least i could do is to perform this act of obligation. if not to you, then to God who has promised to make my paths straight in Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." I also remember one pastor preaching about how Christians should not worry excessively because God wants us to cast all our worries and burdens unto Him.
i wish i could analyse my worries so rationally all the time. but it's a good thing that i have you, because you are my rational voice when i'm emotional. i still remember it felt so magical and wonderful when you prayed voluntarily for me that night that i was feeling jittery about your friendship with Jolin again. (very very thankful for your prayer!) to tell the truth, i can be quite judgmental toward people i feel strongly against, especially people who directly go against the ideals that i so highly value. and when i've identified such people, i tend to not like them very much. which explains why i really really do not like the idea of you being anywhere near her. of course this can come across as being overly possessive and unreasonable...and thats why i'm trying very hard to understand the need for you to preserve your friendship with her. i keep reminding myself that it is my own business that i do not like her, and i should not impose my own beliefs on you. i hope it works eventually. Besides, it must be very displeasing to God that i'm such a judgmental and stubborn person who cant seem to love the way Jesus did to all of us, despite our numerous shortcomings.
i have so many reasons to be a better person for God, and for you. But it seems so difficult to reach that stage. yet. everyone makes their own choice (i remember you telling me that on our way home), perhaps my choice for now is to wait and see. not the best choice, but at least i'm making a choice. or you could say i'm making a choice by not making any choices. ugh, what horrible dichotomy!
to end off: our 2nd month together is in a day's time!!! and i havent planned any surprises yet!!! :-(
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