it's embarrassing, but i've to admit that i've lost track of the exact number of days we've been together for (more specifically, the number of days just doesnt seem right no matter how i count it: forward or backward). I"ll hereby replace it with a simpler system: X-month mark! cant describe how proud i am to have successfully saved the bad counting situation :-)
our 2nd month together wasnt the most eventful, but easily the most memorable cuz it was such a last minute planning. was entirely my fault cuz it slipped my mind to keep that day free of other friends' appointments (i quickly agreed to Eva and Von's Xmas gift exchange on the 21st of Dec). I need to get used to the idea that the 21st of every month is as sacred as a covenant...but in any case, thank you for driving down to meet me for supper at Swee Choon (did i remember it correctly?) after a late night of shift work. i may not express it often enough, but you are amazing beyond words. i really cant think of any other guy who'd do half the things you do willingly and happily.
throughout the time i've spent with you, i've grown to realise some things about you (for better or worse. mostly weird and funny, though haha):
1. You tend to talk/ask questions non-stop when watching horror cuz you need an outlet to release that fear and paranoia
2. You'd always smile embarrassingly when you get an erection from random make-outs
3. you squirm when you see insanely chubby babies and cant hide your paternal instincts
4. you seem to freeze (both mind and body) whenever you realise that i'm starting to act up...
5. you think you can hide your lethargy from me, but the truth is you'd always rub your eyes and take longer than usual to process thoughts when you're getting tired. that's how i know, and thats why i rush you to bed.
6. you're not the type to shower your love at everyone and in every corner, but once you've locked on a target, you shower your love abundantly and unconditionally -- your family, close friends, and me.
despite the few times that you think i'm unhappy at you, the reverse is in fact true. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and i can confidently say that there's no guy out there thats remotely like you. When my feet hurt from wearing high heels for too long, you reached for some scotch tape immediately and started taping my shoes (even tho it was dirty and probably smelly hahaha) for me without thinking; when i'm hungry in the middle of the night and you're about to fall asleep, you'd still jump out of bed and suggest that we go get supper; when you discovered that my mom was pawning most of her gold jewelry, you were more anxious than me to help her get it back; when i feel hurt, i know you're 10x more hurt than i am; whenever i make spontaneous decisions, you're always my number 1 supporter; when i make you feel uncomfortable with my ceaseless questions, you'd rather suffer in silence than tell me to shut up; when i look my worst (without any make-up on), you always tell me that i'm beautiful; when i revealed how important i value God in my life, you started to place your trust in Him too and said "Amen" at every prayer (you have no idea how deeply touched i am each time i hear you say that)
these are the reasons why i know for sure, i wouldnt want to spend the rest of my life with another guy. but there've also been many times that i wonder, if i also make you feel the same way. Am i doing enough things for you to make you feel loved and assured? Am i contributing in any way to make your life less stressful and more comfortable? it pains me to realise that i'm probably not even half as wonderful as you are...and that i dont deserve everything that you've done for me. it's indeed a reminder of how gracious God is toward us: Grace is God giving us the good things that we dont deserve...i would rank you as the best thing that God has given me which i dont deserve. but the good news is, i'll work toward being deserving of the good things that God has blessed me with!
***random interlude***: you looked amazingly handsome with that smart-looking white shirt and straight black pants at Priscilla's church wedding!!!!! i'm normally attracted to you on an average day, but that particular day was especially strong attraction HAHAHAHA!
thank you again for driving me to your home and back just to retrieve a few items which i'd forgot to pack for camp tmr! not to mention it was already getting late and we both have to wake up crazy early tmr morning...you even had to reassure me that you're not angry at me even though you were doing me such a huge favor :-( sometimes i dont know whether to feel bad or laugh at us...i only hope we can continue laughing with and at each other for the rest of our time together :D
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