Past 2-month mark: I survived the 3-day orientation camp at Changi Coast Adventure Centre!

Surviving the outdoor camp for an indoor person like me felt like a supremely major accomplishment. Not only did i have to endure the constant exposure to blazing sun and hungry insects, i also had to go through 2-days of suffering migraine and the lack of blanket (should not be the case, but it's another story i'll leave out this time) in a cold air-con room. thank God i decided to bring along 2 sweaters (thanks to my large suitcase!) so i could wear 1 and use the other to cover my body. Being with my form class didnt make me feel particularly bonded to them cuz i tend to keep my distance from students at the start...but it made me particularly attached to you. there really is a lot of truth behind "absence makes the heart grow fonder", and being sick while at camp made me realise that your care for me extends beyond mere physical distance. thank you for your ceaseless concern over my migraine, and for offering numerous times to sneak in food for me at the camp. it may seem something small to you, but it carries a great deal of meaning for me.

I was really really really happy like a little girl when i finally get to meet you after the camp :-))) i remember you came to my place cuz my mom was preparing dinner for us (together with my granny, aunties, and you), and i dragged you to my room to hug. i think i was also on the verge of shedding happy tears, but i was afraid you'd foolishly mistake it as unhappy tears so i held back. it is always a blessing and joy to be able to love, but it's double the blessing and joy to be loved back by the person you love. i dont know how it is, but with you, i've found more purpose in every thing i do.

i know you always reassure me that you'll always be there to love and care for me no matter what, and i should have no fears about losing you..but i really hope that your acts and words of love will be voluntarily instead of obligatory. i hope that you love me because you do, not because you said you will. i think it's sometimes possible to be blinded by your principles and ideals that you do things obligatorily -- but that also means you love your ideals/principles more than you do the things you do. i dont know if i'm making sense here, but it's just 1 of the views i have...of course, thats not to say i'm being pessimistic (again). i also hope i'll be able to make you fall in love with me everyday, make us feel like we're dating each time we go out, instead of allowing our relationship to fall into a stagnant stage where we do things routinely and get used to getting used to each other. saying this already sounds like a lot of effort, but i'm sure that we are (and will be) greatly blessed by God to overcome this common barrier face by all other couples.

sometimes (just sometimes), i fear that i will love you more than i do God (for e.g. there're a number of times i thought about skipping choir just so i can spend more time with you.) but when i remember that you're my blessing from God, it becomes impossible because i'll have to love whoever gave you to me more. judging by how much i value you in my life, i cant imagine the amount of importance God will have to be in my life. i am trying my best to match my own expectations of me, and i know you'll also be there to catch me when i fall...

i want to end off my favorite photo of us in the month of Dec 2013:

you look really smart in the white shirt! <3

"i thought i was already at my maximum threshold of the love i have for you...until you went away for the 3-day camp." (Chia Hsien, Toh, 2013)